Sunday, October 14, 2012

Yesterday's Memory

pink and grey--
a discovery--crying--proof
shiny mail--sunshine--tinted nails
quiet--star wars
a man and two dogs

I've been reading the book "The Book Thief", as I mentioned two days ago.  Each chapter starts in the above format.  It's so interesting because it gives you something to piece together, words to look for. Like pink and grey, in the story, would be eloquently (one of my favorite words) pieced into a story of me, busily cleaning the pantry, drinking morning coffee.  I never have been one to wake up and drink coffee.  That has changed. 

pink and grey.
 I was gifted a Keurig by a dear sweet friend in NC the Saturday before all went upside down.  I have to admit, I love it.  There is so little clean up.  I'm a lazy coffee drinker, unless I'm in the mood for the motions of coffee making, I hate all the steps and the clean up. Its the total truth.  There is one of my flaws. I'm a lazy coffee drinker.  Thus. The Keurig is perfect for a first-world person like myself.  I got up yesterday with the strangest urge to just go make a coffee, sit quietly and dwell.  I made the coffee.  That part of the plan happened.  Then I was suddenly hit with the desire to clean the pantry.  
I went in to try the Pinterest idea of using a soda can box as a way to store canned goods. (It would work with Campbell's soup cans, but, not veggie cans.)
After that fatal step, I couldn't stop tidying it! I was just cleaning because I simply had to clean.
I am not the cleanest person in the world, that said, sometimes I just have to clean.
I took the computer into the pantry and turned on the new P!nk album on Spotify.  There may have been booty dancing while I cleaned.  The pantry now looks awesome, as does the laundry room.
That story, is not where pink and grey come in.
They come in as the cover and the holder of my little book. The shield for the Kindle, which has not yet been named, is hot pink.
Would I ever in my life pick up a hot pink cover?
No. I would not.
Thus I am so glad I did not purchase this cover, because I adore it's pinkness.  I wouldn't get that joy if I had gotten it. My Kindle, the book holder, is grey.  Not quite so eloquent, eh?
Goodness, I have signed up for a lot of words.

a discovery.
When you go to the health department to have a pregnancy test, they give you the test in a sealed bag, if you want. It's not gross or anything.  Well, I kept mine, of all places, in a cabinet in the laundry room. The laundry room that I was cleaning yesterday. When I went to put away some rags, there it was. A little orange striped bag containing a small white rectangle. I took it, and threw it in the trash.

As you can imagine, that sparked a moment of raw emotion. I remembered the joy, the moment I was told that the home test wasn't wrong, I really was pregnant. My mom was with me. Oh how many steps she's taken with me.
Now, that object didn't bring joy.

In a startling thought, I realized I had just thrown away my last proof, other than a piece of paper, that I had in fact been pregnant.  I couldn't do it.  I needed it.  I needed that proof.  I dug it out of the trash, and placed it back in the cabinet. I will figure out the next step later.

shiny mail.
A sweet, sweet old friend of mine, who I actually met online and then had as a bridesmaid in our wedding, sent me an adorable Firefly sticker.  It will go on the case of my phone whenever I get an iPhone again.  Until then, it will keep me company here at my desk.  I'll add a picture and you'll see why it's shiny.  Or maybe you already get it if you are a Browncoat.  I love it and it gives me happy sighs.

Due to needing to leave the house for a little while, we went to town and purchased some foods for dinner. Which we ate in a church parking lot, then sat, dogs in back, and read or played. The sun was brilliant yesterday. As usual. Heh. We just could see it well.
Autumn has hit with a delicate, cold kiss. The leaves are blushing red, while others have paled yellow. Winds brush hair aside. Chill has run it's icy fingers down my spine.  It all just makes me want to cozy down with a hot drink in the nestlike arms of pillows and blankets.

tinted nails.
My mother let me raid her nail polish for a nice fall color. I ended up with "Fearless Fog" and "Thinking of Blue" by Sally Hansen.  I sat, while watching tv, and soaked my hands.  Lamentably, I tore a cuticle .. somehow. I've been tea tree oiling it so hopefully that will bear nice results. I, then, proceeded to carefully paint each nail. There is something nice in the thickness of nail paint. My index fingers received the blue, and the rest, the fog.
I can say this, an exceptional gift for someone hurting is to do their nails.  I requested a friend come over and paint nails with me when she asked if I would like a visit.  I felt so not pretty and just needed to have pretty toes.  I have no idea why.
She came, and as is her fashion, went above and beyond the request.  She filled two pans of warm water, soaked my feet, rubbed them with creams, scrubbed off dead skin. She loving dried them, lotioned them and then finally, painted them. I text her later that I felt loved and luxurious from my toes to my heart. I love my lowercase friend.

Despite the music and the cleaning, neither of which stopped after the pantry and laundry room, the day had a beautiful quiet to it.  Somewhere and I both had the day off and spent a lot of it on projects and each other.  Just in being near. Even the weather felt quiet. Our roommate had work in the evening.  It was simply quiet.

star wars.
I told Somewhere that he was amazing.  He said "I know." His typical response to such a statement. I told him that I now understood he was quoting Star Wars in that.  Sort of like "As you wish" from one of our other favorite movies.  I hadn't realized that was what he was quoting until I saw a pair of cups that said "I love you" on one and "I know" on the other with a title of being a Star Wars nerd.
Star Wars is very important to Somewhere.  I like the movies, I've RPG'ed in the world.  I don't remember many stellar details from it though.
I love Somewhere, truly, madly, deeply. I know that stellar detail.
 Therefore, I uttered this:
"Can we rewatch the movies and you point out what is really great about the different moments?"
Of course he said yes.
Last night, we started the rewatch with Episode One. Can I deny that I, despite great determination not to, fell asleep in the last bit? No. No I cannot.  I do understand more now though. Today, the rewatch will continue.

a man and two dogs.
This sums up my companionship for yesterday.
A man and two dogs.  I have received so much from all three.
A man who is there for me, constantly.  He has been such a shelter. I have not the words to really describe what he is to me. It's simply more.

Two dogs.
One who knew something was wrong when I got home from NC and wouldn't come near me. Very unlike him (He also knew before I did that I was pregnant and started being very protective and careful around me.
That all changed when I got home from the hospital the second time.  He didn't leave my side.  I would lay in my living room bed and have a warm monster of a beast pasted to my side.

The second beast, my darling girl, she is my pale shadow. I wake with her head next to mine, her tail always wagging from just a meeting of eyes between us. She and I are just meant.

Those three, and no more, yesterday did my heart need.

1 comment:

Give a smile. :)