Jealousy.
That's the thing on my mind right now. I have an awareness of many of my flaws, I can admit that. One of my most deadly painful flaws is jealousy. I am often overwhelmingly jealous. I know it is not healthy. It eats at me and my soul. I have deep rooted issues. I come from an enormously talented family and I have many brilliant friends. Many times I can not enjoy or even attend some events due to my jealousy. I feel the need t be as good, to be appreciated, to be head in esteem. That's crap. I felt the need to diligently hold a dream to be famous and well-known. Somehow, in my mind, that meant others success battled with mine.
"Why didn't people want me to sing, why were others picked over me." "Why isn't my art the most popular." "How dare that person be so gifted without even caring or trying."
No more.
God honestly doesn't care how famous I am on earth. All He cares about is His fame.
No more me.
Your honestly is a beautiful thing.
ReplyDeleteIn a similar vein, I struggle with self-worth. I think a lot of this stems from comparing myself with other people - feeling as if they really know what they're doing and I, on the other hand, haven't a clue.
I was reading another blog earlier and the girl said she was trying to learn how to love herself, exactly for who she was. Not so that she could ignore her faults and cease to strive for more, but because she needed to see her own self worth.
All that to say . . . I think you're an extremely talented, beautiful individual. Always have.