Monday, November 12, 2012

Baby Blogger

I feel like I am such a baby blogger.  Not in the fact of I blog about babies, just in that I am so young feeling to it all.

I would be lying if I said I don't want to become a successful blogger.
I thrive off comments and views.
That's the trashy truth.
I can get where I check in too many times a day to see if people read.  You might wonder why I would share such a thing. Of course everyone wants their blog to be successful.  That's part of why you do this.  You want others to see your heart.

It's a hard thing. Its hard to constantly weigh your desire to reach out to others, to have them see your heart and feel your love, against a feeling of "am I doing this out of pride?"  I never, ever want to use What Happened as a way to get views.  That is NEVER the case.  I respect my sweethearts far too much for that.

I truly feel God calling me to be a voice to women (and men) who go through pregnancy loss, even this early in my own grief.
I was asked at a ladies' retreat to give my testimony, and I knew in my heart that it needed to be on what happened.  I didn't want to.  Just because I'm a talker (I found out I'm a Sanguine personality... we're not happy unless we're talking) that doesn't mean I like sharing emotions.  I hate crying in front of  others.  It's so naked feeling.  I would rather talk about awkward stuff, something dumb I did, anything! Anything! Anything but to share where I feel broken.
In my begging God to let me out of it, He spoke to my heart: "I didn't do this to a Sanguine so she'd keep quiet."
For some reason I feel an extreme need/drive/desire to speak out. It's more than speak.  Its that my words could carry my heart and envelope other peoples' hearts with the knowledge that someone else has been on a similar (but not identical) road and is there.

All that said, this isn't all I am.
This is not the extent of my being.
I want to be able to continue blogging for a while.  Sometimes about What Happened and other times just about whatever else is making up Didge that day.

On a side note: Be watching for the blog upgrade.  I have chosen a name. :)


  1. I look forward to hearing what you have to say... Pregnancy loss is so powerful. There's not a day that goes by that I don't think about my little one I never met.
    God's got a plan for you sweet friend.... Follow His path!

  2. I love the fact that you dance to the beat of your own drum. I love that I can read your blog and glimpse into your life, your feelings that day. You were made for others to feel blessed, to laugh with you, and, on rare occasion, to cry with you. It is truly my pleasure to get to know you, from one Sanguine to another.
    Sherry Canterbury


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