Thursday, April 7, 2011

Day 65

There's very little Somewhere has said "no, you can't do that anymore" in our marriage.  He is very willing to allow me to express myself and look however I want.  I am not allowed to speak just how ever I want though.  It's not a matter of grammar.  Its a matter of word choice.  Here are the no-fly zones in speech for me:


This is not cruelty.  I am not a suppressed wife.  I am not mentally abused.   I am a wife, a woman, a daughter, a sister, a person, wrapped in fear.  I am afraid of so many illogical/realistic/complex things.  I live a life of fear.  I  have a wonderful husband who has discernment and compassion for me.  It is because of that, that Somewhere picked up on some words that I unknowingly used all the time.  He calls me out on them.  "Why are you scared?"  "Why do you worry?"  "Why are you afraid?"

"Sorry" and "trying" were words I threw around haphazardly.  I was constantly sorry for who I was and whatever I did.  I also used it so much as a "get out of jail free" card that the word had no meaning.  That   quickly came to an end even before we were married.
"Trying" was a word I used to make myself think I was doing something about a situation, but really, the only thing I was doing was saying I was trying.  That was the extent of my try.  In the words of Yoda, "Do or do not. There is no try."   Now I either am or am not.  There is no try.

 The time of freedom is here.  I serve an amazing, powerful, all-knowing, intense Savior, who without His word, nothing happens to me. Why on earth should I be afraid unless I do not trust Him, and, in not trusting, show that I do not know Him.

"Joshua 1:9
Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be frightened, and do not be dismayed, for the LORD your God is with you wherever you go."

Fret not.  

1 comment:

  1. May I ask for the story behind the nickname "Somewhere"? It made me smile.

    This post made me think of Junior Asparagus singing about being scared. Not because of the way you write, but because I have a 3 yr old and he made me watch it. ;)


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