There's very little Somewhere has said "no, you can't do that anymore" in our marriage. He is very willing to allow me to express myself and look however I want. I am not allowed to speak just how ever I want though. It's not a matter of grammar. Its a matter of word choice. Here are the no-fly zones in speech for me:
This is not cruelty. I am not a suppressed wife. I am not mentally abused. I am a wife, a woman, a daughter, a sister, a person, wrapped in fear. I am afraid of so many illogical/realistic/complex things. I live a life of fear. I have a wonderful husband who has discernment and compassion for me. It is because of that, that Somewhere picked up on some words that I unknowingly used all the time. He calls me out on them. "Why are you scared?" "Why do you worry?" "Why are you afraid?"
"Sorry" and "trying" were words I threw around haphazardly. I was constantly sorry for who I was and whatever I did. I also used it so much as a "get out of jail free" card that the word had no meaning. That quickly came to an end even before we were married.
"Trying" was a word I used to make myself think I was doing something about a situation, but really, the only thing I was doing was saying I was trying. That was the extent of my try. In the words of Yoda, "Do or do not. There is no try." Now I either am or am not. There is no try.
The time of freedom is here. I serve an amazing, powerful, all-knowing, intense Savior, who without His word, nothing happens to me. Why on earth should I be afraid unless I do not trust Him, and, in not trusting, show that I do not know Him.
Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be frightened, and do not be dismayed, for the LORD your God is with you wherever you go."