Thursday, April 7, 2011

Day 64

There's no more excuses.  I've been looking on this morning and I'm filled with longing.  I'm filled with a scary, exciting... desire.  I'm "scared" because I know God has a way of totally changing on you look at things and what your goals should be in the life you have here on earth.  I'm wondering "what is He going to say... what will be required of me?"  I know part of the answer is "everything."

It's like a friend and I were talking about the other night, they were talking about how they asked God to take it all, thinking in their mind what that would mean.  They figured He would want this, this and this.  We decided then that at the time, he wasn't saying "take it all," he was saying "I'm willing to give you what I think You want."  That's okay.  There's points where God is patient with us when we say "I'm just not ready to let go of that."   There also has to, simply has to, be a time though when you submit, entirely to whatever God's will is, without seconding guessing what that is.  God tells us to sum up if we have what it takes.  I think in the end though, the sum has to be "I don't have it.  You have the ability, though, to make me readied for whatever you have in store, even if, that means death."

As of tomorrow, I will be staying home.  I have no excuse of busyness to place up as a "shield" to avoid God.  My coming home was to follow what I have from Him, I do have the feeling though that He is about to say "Okay, let's have coffee and talk..."

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