Forgetting numbers

I have a lot of emotions going through my soul right now.  I don't know if the soul is the source of emotions, but it seems the best place to put them for right now.  I don't even think I could name all of these emotions if I tried, and yet, if you looked at my face right now, you would see blankness.  There has been no great event or fantastic tragedy.  I am simply existing in a state of... screen saver.  That's a good way to put it.  I feel like I'm on screen saver.

I need to move the mouse.

Passions Series {Food}

Food. 

     I love cooking.  I love the way a good dish can pull people together.  I love hearing my husband say his dinner was good.  I love the moment when the flavors blend, the reduction is perfect, the meat is just juicy but fully done, the way that the right foods can be so delicious but so pure and good for you.  Ilovecooking.  There is definitely something humbling in kneading bread.  There is magic in the smell of onions and butter cooking together. There is simplicity in the sweetness of a strawberry.

     If you read the Bible, there is much said about food.  I could google and probably find an exact count of just how many verses deal with food, but I'll refrain.  Solomon tells us to "Eat, drink and be merry!"  Jesus said He is the "Bread of Life."  A birthright was the cost of a bowl of stew.  A woman used milk to lure a king into a sleep so she could kill him.   The Israelites had many rules based around food.  God used those same rules to show Peter that Gentiles were precious to Him as well as Jews. 

Meals are gathering places, they are social events.  They are necessary for life, for health.  They also can bring death and sickness.  There is so much knowledge to be gained from the lessons of food.

I know this is a passion because I can talk about it for hours.  My grandfather and I go walking, (like sweaty, uphill/downhill training walking) three times a week.  We spend a good half discussing food. :p

Food is something I love, but if I was called to a life where all I would eat was rice, I would like to say I could do it.



                                             The Beginning of the Passions Series

{origin}

Passions Series: {makeup}

     Makeup.  

     Of anything in my life other than faith, and unfortunately sometimes more than that, I read about make up.  I watch videos on it.  (Kandee Johnson makes me smile all the time with her adorable videos.)  I dream about it.  I enter a happy place when I'm in a make up store.  I adore the way it can make eyes come alive and sparkle.  I love how it gives you a "pick me up" when you take the time for yourself on a bad day to feel prettier.  I love it's ability to transform.  Just say the word pigments around me and I can gush for hours. 

 (I've been checking Walmart daily for the movie Sucker Punch, which was a good movie in itself, but the reason I want it is for the make up inspiration it gave me.  I could barely focus on the movie in theaters for looking at the make up, examining if I could do it or not.)

      I've said before that I realize beauty comes from the heart.  In the words of the oh-so-classic and beautiful Audrey Hepburn (seriously, I love her) 

"Make-up can only make you look pretty on the outside but it doesn't help if your ugly on the inside. Unless you eat the make-up." 

— Audrey Hepburn  (Source)


Hehe, okay so the last part was a joke, but really, even the Bible extolls that a woman's (or man's!) beauty comes from the heart. 


 Could I live without make up?  I have before.  In fact, as much as I love make up, I only wear it two or three times a week.  That said, if I really felt that I needed to give it up, like it was becoming a god, yes.  It would be hard, but yes.




If you are interested in reading the rest of the "Passion Series", here's the start: Passions Series {origin}

Here are some cute make up quotes I borrowed from Confessions of a Doll:

“It's all or nothing with my makeup. If I get dressed up, I'll go to an extreme. I'll wear foundation, bright blue or bright red lipstick with one of my weird purple wigs.” -Angelina Jolie  (YES!!!!)

“Beauty is in the eye of the beholder and it may be necessary from time to time to give a stupid or misinformed beholder a black eye.” -Miss Piggy

“The makeup is simply an extension of the personality and colors, clothing, makeup all express something.” -Gene Simmons

Passions Series {origin}

So I'm looking through my indie_wife Twitter timeline and see this:

I replied with this:
(Isn't the play-by-play great?  I missed my calling as a sports commentator.)

After being told I wasn't limited instead encouraged to do more than one... do them all.


I started to think.  Surely I was deeper than "makeup".  What if I expanded the idea to being beyond objects and went into emotions and ideas I was passionate about.  You could even say I was deeply passionate in the way I explain my massive respect for Sharon Osbourne. (I love, love, love her.  Such an example to me!)  How do you explain the passion you feel for peace, not only in the world, but just in your sphere of it, in your relationships, in your home, in your heart and mind.  What am I passionate about?


The question spread through my mind like a drop of ink in a cup.  


I'm passionate about many things.  I passionate about knowledge, peace, happiness, faith, family, friends, cooking, art, music, gaming, reading, the outdoors and of course, makeup.  Each one required more explaining than the 140 word limit Twitter supplied me.   


I turned to my good friend Blog to help me.  I'm starting the Passions Series.  It will probably be about five posts long, perhaps as much seven or ten. :-p   I'll be putting them in list form in links on this post as I go.   The reason I'm not doing them all on one big post is, A. I really like breaking things into smaller bites.  B. This way you don't have to lose reading about passions I have that you share while reading through ones you really care little for.

Passion Series {makeup}


Passions Series {food}

As I do this, I challenge you. 


If you have a blog, blog your own passions.  Comment me a link.  


If you have a Twitter, post them there, with #passion and @synxiec.  He won't judge and I'll be reading them there too.  


Email them to me if you have neither.  I'll share some on here if you like. 


Comment me if you do any of the above or if you don't want to do any and just wanna put it in the comments. 


Look into yourself. This may come easy to you or it may be life changing.


Do it.

Day 93 | Vindicated

Vindicated. 

Thats been my word for the past couple days.  The causes are manly stupid, but I've been very frustrated with the feeling that I can't vindicate myself.  It's not that I don't have the right arguments.  I can vindicate myself, especially in my mind, for hours.  

The problem is, and this is a big one. I'm nice. It stinks being nice. Its not simply that I'm nice. That's a wimpy excuse not to defend yourself.  Its that I think stuff like "I don't know what kind of day they have had" or "What good will my being aggressive back do?"  

All that said, this is my moment.  Its been building up inside me for the past couple days.  Like I said, this is mostly over stupid stuff, people I don't even know online. How lame.  But its in me and I need it out.

I'm sorry you were having a bad day.  

I'm sorry that I did something you considered to be incorrect.  

I'm sorry that I respected you.  

I'm sorry that I tried to explain myself at all to you.  

I'm sorry you felt the need to project inordinate amounts of anger toward me.  

I'm sorry you think it works to put a smilie face at the end to make it seem nice. 

I'm sorry you didn't think about how the one 

obscure 

meaningless, 

faceless person you took all the bad day out on was 

me, 

the one person who would 

care, 

go red in the face, 

and cry.

  Do I need to be less sensitive. Ohyeah.  Was I having an emotional day too? Definitely.  Am I sorry I am not sorry? No.

Whew.

Thank you.

All this said... think.  Think before you take any anger out on someone.  Think before you are rude.  Think before you assume you know their motives.  Think of how you want to be treated. Think of how crappy their day may have been.  Think of the better.

Even if they are just a name on a screen.

Also, to the person this was toward... I sincerely hope today was better.  

Day 92| Dwell

I was messing around with the ohsofabulous Evernote today, having realized how easy it made syncing my life to my computer.  During this messing, I made my first note on the computer. It simply poured out of me.  I thought I'd share.  This isn't a great theological debate.  It's simply a note to uplift.

Girl, you are wonderful.  Jesus made you and He loves you.  Yes, there will be hard times, this isn't a feel good lie.  The core of life though is that you are made to glorify God.  God would not put so much stock in what he says "is good" if it wasn't important.  He seemed to consider the work He did at the end of each day of creation finished if "it was good."

 He didn't say dwell on death, sadness and heartache.  He didn't say live each day in suffering and moaning.  He said it would happen, but not to dwell on it.

He said: "whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things."

Smile.

Be joyful.

Be thankful.

Be loving.

Be.

These are all of God.

*Phil. 4:8

Day 91| Thinking

I asked a friend what he was up to today.  His reply: thinking.

I told him my plans for the day (nothing but chillin' with the hubby man. aahhhhh, how lovely.) Then I asked "thinking?"  This was unheard of to me.  To have a life so organized as to be able to just take time to think.    More than that, to have a life that you value so much that it wouldn't matter if everything was done and in place, you had to take time to think that day.  I have never planned to think for a day.  I... can barely comprehend this.

My friend simply replied, "yes. Thinking."

I was inspired.  I couldn't get it out of my head.  I asked more questions of him.  The included contemplating how Christ often took time to be alone.  Now, the idea of "I'm getting away to be with God" that one I've heard.  I suppose it's like thinking.  There is something beautifully mediative, zen-like and natural about the idea though.  I spent a lot of today, in the back of my mind, thinking about thinking.

Later, the wind started blowing powerfully outside this afternoon.  I raced out to get the clothes, that were drying, off the porch. I stood there for a moment, looking at the clouds... there were so many faces in them, I was tempted to run downstairs and grab my sketchbook.  I knew they would be gone when I got back though.  Instead, I dumped the clothes on the table.  Picking up one of the towels, I folded it up into a pillow and went to lay on my back on the porch.  I lay there for about 5 minutes, just looking and thinking.

Just thinking.

I am inspired.