We got home and still had some tidying, which really means cleaning, to do before my brother (yay!) and one of my close friends (yayyay!) were planning to come in today. (They aren't coming together or anything, it just happened to be they would both be here.) It really was the plan for me to just sweep and Somewhere unload the dishwasher, which I abhor, and then go to bed.
I sat down for a moment to untie my shoes and say hello to my T-dog, who greets me like she will never see me again past this moment and figures I need a store up of her massive love. It's rather nice. Last night, though, she managed to bop her head, so gently, onto one of the "blemishes" on my chin. It stung, but more than that, it was the final straw. It hurt and gave a crack in a wall I didn't even know was there, built to contain the many emotions of this pregnant lady. I felt the tears rise up as I just couldn't deal anymore. I told T that I loved her but I needed space right now. (Really, it didn't hurt that bad!) I knew it was time to just cry, give into the emotions for a moment and cry them out. Yes, I'm that kind of woman.
I stood up and took two steps to Somewhere, tears just about to start brimming over, and hugged him. Perhaps grasped on and cling to him would be a closer image. Then I started to cry.
There has indeed been times when this would have been a little bit of a shock moment for him. He knows how to deal with "woman tears" but his response used to be to make me laugh, which I didn't mind at all, or to perhaps be a bit overwhelmed himself and just try to understand my confusing rants of emotional angst.
Not last night. He asked what was wrong as he held me. I sobbed about how tired I was and then just kept sobbing. He told me that was really okay, we've had an incredibly busy month for us. I simpered that I just needed a hug and his reply, "you can always come get one." *happysigh*
I sat down and he called B-Boy over to give me a kiss. That dog gives awesome kisses.
Somewhere waited and then gently asked if I was "just tired." I told him no. This was quite a bit of baby hormones, exhaustion, and just plain being overwhelmed. With everything. Which received a laugh filled series of questions that proved I wasn't exactly overwhelmed by everything.
He listened to the list of things that I was basically "done" over. We talked about them a little and I asked if it would be so bad if we just went to sleep. He asked if that's what I wanted and when I agreed it was, he said he had been thinking about taking a nap anyway. (We'll talk about his sleep habits perhaps in another post. They are... different.) I was still teary when we started getting into bed. I smiled and said "okay, it's almost over." I then apologized for crying, admitting that it was probably a frustrating, startling or scary moment when I did. He told me it wasn't. I asked if it was confusing. He said no. I then asked what it was. He replied that it was just something that would happen. It just was.
You are probably wondering the point of this post.
It's my post of gratitude to be blessed with a spouse who is there. This isn't to point out the ones that aren't there or anything like that. I am just so blessed by the love and acceptance he shows.
He has been there for me through so, so much. He strives to be a provider and leader for our home. He learns the complex lesson of what makes a Me tick better every single day. I've watched him grow more protective, especially since see the baby bump forming. He guards me. He protects. He shelters.
Do we ever have our bad days? Of course we do. We both have moments of wondering if the other person knows us at all. We don't always protect.
But in the end, he is my teammate. We will always look out for each other.
I love him.
For a great post on love, check out sarah at My Shady Grove.